


Maybe This Time

by anadelonge



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 03:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4332321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anadelonge/pseuds/anadelonge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even after having had enough of Robert's lies and excuses, Aaron found himself waiting for him at the Woolpack.</p><p>Set some weeks after the drunk!Robert episode</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe This Time

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbetaed and English is not my first language, so I'm really sorry for any mistakes :(  
> Also, it's my first Robron fanfic; I just had to write it because I love them very much, even though Emmerdale doesn't feel the same about them

They had planned to meet at noon at the Woolpack. He couldn’t exactly remember who was the one that arranged it nor the reason of that reunion, but it didn’t really matter anyway because the other one of them was already entering the pub. His heart started beating faster the moment the blond guy locked eyes with him, as it always did when he saw him. He felt as if everything had just disappeared and they were the only ones in there. The other man's face, with a serious expression until a few seconds before, now looked way more radiant: his eyes seemed to glow brighter and his straight lips turned up into a smile. It was quite unusual seeing him smiling like that, at least at him, at least in public; although he was happy knowing he was the reason behind that smile, the whole situation was weird enough for him to smile back.

"Hey, Aaron! I’m glad you could make it!" Robert said as he headed toward the table the younger one was sitting on. Aaron was already having a beer, so he just nodded at Diane to bring him one more.

”What do you want?” Aaron was tired of whatever was going on between him and Robert and wanted to know why he was there in the first place. “I’ve already said it, we’re done.”

“But still you are here.” He triumphantly smiled as Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes. He started feeling he was just wasting his time there and was about to get up and leave when Robert quickly held his hand. “Look, I just want to talk.”

Aaron looked at their hands together, then at Robert, then back at their hands again. Robert didn’t seem to care that they were sharing some kind of romantic moment in public, and even though he wasn’t complaining about having Robert’s soft hand holding his own, he didn’t feel comfortable enough to keep doing it. Not after he decided to come back to Chrissie.

“What are you doing?” Aaron hissed, withdrawing his hand from the other one’s warmth. “Don’t mess me around.”

“You probably aren’t getting any of this, are you?”

“No, and I’m just waiting for you to finish your little chat so I can leave. I have other things to do, you know.”

“Like what? Scrapping?” Aaron rolled his eyes once again. “Oh, come on, Aaron, we used to mess each other up all the time. I miss that old Aaron.”

“And I miss the Aaron I was before I knew you. My life was so much better before you came into it. I still regret picking up my phone that day you called me to repair your non-broken car.”

“I just wanted an excuse to talk to you alone. I knew I felt something from the first time I set my eyes on you, but you really caught my attention when you said you weren’t into Chrissie because you were… you know.”

“And you still can’t say it.”

“The thing is,” Robert resumed his speech, ignoring Aaron’s remark. “I still think about that day. I still think about us being together. When I said I loved you… I really meant it. And I still do.”

Aaron kept quiet, trying to read Robert’s mind like he used to do not much time ago. The first time Robert said the three-word-sentence he was shaken up. He wasn’t expecting it at all and he was sure those words slipped from Robert’s mouth before he could stop them. It took him a whole week spent with Robert at Home Farm to start believing in them, but after everything that happened, now that Aaron hasn’t been that vulnerable anymore, he could understand their real meaning: just some empty words said as an attempt to prevent him of doing something stupid.

“You always get what you want, huh? You managed to lose me and your wife at the same time, but somehow you won her back. Just don’t expect the same to happen with me, mate.”

“And now we’re back to the ‘mate’ thing again.” He snorted sarcastically. “Look, I know I haven’t treated you the best in the last couple of weeks, but, like I said, I still care about you, Aaron. I want you back in my life. You are the only one who can really understand me and you know that. I don’t know what I could do without you.” Robert paused for a moment. “You know, that week when you and Chrissie were mad at me… it was really hard for me. I’ve never felt so alone. When we used to argue, at least I could be with Chrissie and pretend that everything was fine. But when you two weren’t there for me… it really hit me how terrible it is to be alone. How it feels not having anyone to talk to, to share the good things in life…”

“Well, you don’t have to feel like that anymore, you got her back.” Aaron couldn’t help feel the bitterness in his own words.

“Yes, that’s true. But something is different now. I confess that, at first, that thing we had was just a way to pass my time, nothing serious. I loved Chrissie and leaving her for you never crossed my mind. But I realised now that what we have is stronger than what me and Chrissie ever had. When I was drunk, you were the only one who helped me. When I thought you hated me so much you wouldn’t even look at me anymore, there you were, helping a pathetic loser who thought that alcohol would be the solution of all his problems. When you brought me to your home I knew you were mad at me, but you still cared. And in that moment I knew I wouldn’t want to lose you anymore.“

Aaron felt he was falling into his trap once again. Even though the only person he was actually seeing was that blue-eyed man in front of him, he could feel his mom looking at him over the bar; in fact, he could feel the entire bar looking at him, judging him, as if telling him he deserves better. He _knew_ that. He knew that a long time ago. But somehow his heart didn’t seem to follow his head. His heart still wanted to give him one more chance. Maybe this time everything would be different. Maybe this time he would change. Maybe this time he would say the three-word-sentence meaning it.

“Please, Aaron, just give me another chance. We can work this out. I know I don’t deserve you, I did and said terrible things to you. But I know you still feel the same. Or…” Robert paused and looked down, struggling to carry on the sentence. “have you stopped?”

“No.” Aaron said in a low voice, not daring looking at Robert’s eyes as if that was an admission of his failure to stop loving him. Still, he could feel that a little smile was forming in Robert’s lips. He couldn’t stop thinking about another person, though. “But what about Chrissie? I’ve told you before, I don’t want to run away just so we can be together.”

“That’s it? You want me choose between you two? Aaron…” His lips curved into a warm smile. “Of course it’s you. It’s always been you.”

“So… you admit it? Can you accept you’re gay?”

“You know I don’t like labels. The most important thing right now is me and you being together, whatever you call it.”

He sounded very genuine, but something was weird. Everything was too good to be true...oh. That's it. It _was_ too good to be real. Suddenly everything started becoming blurry and he felt as if he didn’t belong there. Which, in fact, he didn’t. Robert’s face, so bright and alive until a second before, now was just a blur along with the other people in the pub. His sight was dimmed and all the background sound slowly lowered down until there was nothing.

His eyes shot open and his pathetic reality came back. He was lying on his bed, alone, tears already making their way down Aaron’s cheeks. Just another stupid dream. His heart taking charge of his dreams once again. All these thoughts he supposed he got over with were there again. It is not easy stop loving someone. It didn't matter how many mistakes Robert made; it didn't matter how many times Robert broke his heart; it didn’t matter _Robert saying he was nothing to him_. It was hard to hate him after seeing the real Robert, when he himself already _was_ a Robert before. He tried to forget him, God knows how much he tried, but it’s really hard to get over someone who lives close to you, someone you have to see everyday. Seeing them being happy with someone else. Someone who is not you.

He just wished that maybe one day he would be lucky. Maybe one day he would be happy. Maybe one day someone would love him back. _Maybe some other time._


End file.
